A Trip to the MET – Better with the Best!

Okay okay, that’s corny. But seriously, museums are such boring places to go to usually, right? Especially when you live in New York and commonly go to such museums on school field trips.

But not when you’re with a best friend!

Nabila, I adore your company. (And your subscription to my lowly little blog). Without you, I would not have found such enjoyment out of Greek hydria and kraters, believe me. Who would have thought that there would be SO.MANY.OF.THEM in one little gallery.

I have to say though, the city is quite magical when you go with a friend, and we had quite an adventure today. We ate lunch at this small little pizzeria on 86th Street, and they conveniently forgot to charge us…which I wasn’t about to complain over. Free lunch aside, I splurged on dessert (because hey, I’ve been CRAVING it) and bought some cheesecake for the ridiculous price of $4.50.

FOR A SLICE.

But it was absolutely yummy. As was Nabila’s frozen yogurt. (aka froyo. It sounds better than its spelled, honestly)

Wow, this entry is now ending due to boredom. I don’t feel like journal’ing at the moment…more later!?

xoxo

Oh procrastination, how I love thou!

I have an 8-10 page term paper due this Wednesday…it is worth a significant amount of my grade. 20% in fact! I don’t feel like writing it, although I know (sort of) what I want to talk about.

But since everybody’s busy or MIA, and I have nothing better to do, I figured I might as well post here to kill some time, study for a few hours, and sleep at a reasonable hour.

You know, now that I can.

It’s torture though, to fix my sleeping schedule only to have it go topsy turvy again once I return to school (January 17th). At any rate, this month has been hell. I don’t want to ponder over details, but here is why:

1. College…finals week. Enough said.
2. Spending Christmas in NJ…where I got a measly sweater as a gift
3. ^Would have been bearable, had my grandfather not passed away early morning, the day after Christmas
4. ^That resulted in a complete lack of appetite for the holidays
5. Trip to Texas = cancelled. Not that I would have enjoyed it anyway
6. Boys…I’m starting to get close to the ones I shouldn’t, am attracted to the ones I shouldn’t, and don’t ever seem to talk to the one I want to….what the heck is up with that?

Honestly, the end of the year has just been crazy; hopefully it ushers in some peace and good luck next year. I figure…how much worse can things get now? So I’m just going to handle things one event at a time, starting with that term paper! I mean, all I really have to do is spend 8 pages rambling about Descartes, Hume, Lucretius, and Euripedes – not too bad!

Lies.

I come off as quite a bitter individual till date – perhaps beginning this blog in these tumultuous times wasn’t the best idea? I do hope I haven’t scared off visitors with my snide comments. (Except for Nabila; she reads every single one of my posts regardless of how mundane or bitter they are. <3)

Oh well, one of the many positives of being back in Long Island for the break – I get to drive again! And although its been a while, I haven't lost my ability (haha). I've been driving back and forth from my house and my cousins these past few days, what with the funeral planning and relatives and mourning and all – it's been a hectic time for us all.

I'm rambling, so I'll stop that now.

On an unrelated note, maybe boyfriends are overrated after all.

Winter Break!

One more final…tomorrow morning at 8 in fact…and I am done with this semester.
Not terrible…I’m hoping to pull off a few A’s this semester, and if I can actually do that, then I’ll be able to pull up my GPA to a decent range despite the C I have in Spanish.

Yeah, that’s right. A C in Spanish.

Pryanka is very upset with herself. But what makes it worse is that I probably couldn’t have done much better because I’ve come to realize that a college exam is not for me. Term papers I can manage, but the grading system of NYU’s Foreign Language Department has bested me.

My World Cultures class changed timings as well as location. So although it is now merely in the Silver Center, it is now at a time which I doubt Carolyn can fit into her schedule.

BOO! I’d really wanted to have a class with her this semester ): I was looking forward to it.

Now my reader might be asking why I’m posting this livejournal entry instead of studying. Well, basically, not only is it inhuman to administer a final the day before christmas eve at eight in the morning, this is actually my easiest one. It’s 10 passage identifications and an essay. We have two hours to do this. I’ve actually attended lecture plenty of times, read the books, taken notes on all of these books, and studied quite a bit. So you see why I’m not worried.

I’m still staying up all night though, simply because it’s my last night here this semester. Also, everybody else has already gone. Also, my roommate’s out clubbing again and she has a flight back to California in the morning and she left the ENTIRE ROOM SUCH A MESS. I think I’m going to die ): Or clean.

ARGH. FML. I hate how I’m the only person around here who likes keeping things clean. I guarantee you there will be a pile of shit on her bed if she doesn’t clean up. And then she can moan and bitch at me all she wants, but I want a clean room!

As I was studying and reading through my Con West notes, I came across a bit of writing during a particularly boring recitation. It’s the same journalesque blogging entry type deal, but written during class, so it has an extra shot of rebellion in it!

“I’m at recitation right now and its really boring. The questions used to spur discussion are all but a bore, and I’m trying SO hard to not fall asleep. Gotta get back, finish, and move on. John Locke’s view on property isn’t all that enticing or interesting. And my handwriting’s horrible right now – it’s just too much effort to stay awake, talk essays, and BREATHE. There’s just reason to do this. Wow I keep nodding off and the pen keeps slipping down. 5 minutes left! Can’t believe that each class here is double what it used to be in HS. 2 minutes left! I hope that World Cultures next semester is fun! 2 weeks from now, I get to miss a little bit of class and register for my classes! I’m going to tell my professor or after today’s recitation, which is over”

Yeah the ending made no sense to me either.

Figured I’d post it here and let y’all decipher it for yourselves.

Confusion

Perhaps I am being paranoid. In that case, this entry is based on pure suspicion (and paranoia) and can be completely disregarded otherwise.

I don’t like being lied to.

Plain and simple, I am just not a fan of being lied to.

I also don’t like being ignored.

Sadly, this past week, I feel like I’ve had both of those happen to me entirely too many times. I’m sure its all very petty if read from an outsider’s perspective, but the small things are starting to add up and bother me now. I’m trying my best to ignore it, but maybe a relationship wasn’t the best idea. I don’t think he takes me seriously, so I’m hoping that spending some time together next month is going to change that. I’m praying it does.

It all started out because of skype. We never talk, and I miss his voice. I’m not lying, I really do love his voice, and it’s hard for me to not be able to see him physically whenever I want. It’s the least he could do talk to me every few days, right? But he’s not of the same mindset, and every time I want to talk to him, there are always excuses, delays. He never wants to talk. NEVER. What sort of boyfriend avoids talking to his girlfriend?

Not to mention a few days ago, one night when he told me he wasn’t in the mood to talk (and that we’d talk later, but that never happened), we got into a bit of an argument. But it wasn’t a big deal…we both were stressed and annoyed, and hey, it is after all finals week still. But he went invisible on MSN, and was still online. And later that night, he DID go on Skype with a group of his friends.

I’m upset. I’m very upset, but I’m not going to bring that up. It’s over; no need to create mountains out of molehills.

And the lying mainly refers to that too. He’ll say he’s signing off to go to sleep, but actually be on for hours after that. I, of course, don’t IM him after he’s said good night. I assume that when my boyfriend says good night and signs off, he’s offline and in bed, going to sleep. I do not expect to find out later that he was, in fact, online for the next two hours after he said he was off.

If he doesn’t want to talk to me, that’s fine. Just don’t lie to me?

It just makes me wonder what else he doesn’t tell me, and that makes me feel sick and upset and hurt and sad and all kinds of nasty things! I’m just hoping that after we’ve seen each other in person and almost verified that our relationship is real, things will change.

Petty I guess. Maybe I just need to stop being an annoying girlfriend?

I can’t help it though ): I need constant contact, and he’s just so far away that it’s hard for me not to want to talk to him on the phone, or at the very least text him or IM him and not worry about his reaction. I want to IM him and not think, in the back of my head, whether he hasn’t responded because I’m being ignored, or because he’s genuinely away from the keyboard.

Maybe I should maintain some more distance? He’s just so cute and romantic sometimes that the lying just strikes me as so odd 😦 It’s not what I expected at all…and it’s never anything major of course, but it still hurts. I don’t know what to say…maybe I should have waited and tried to date a boy who goes to the same college as I do?

But the problem is, even if he doesn’t feel the same way, I like Andrew a lot.

Subway Ruminations

So here I am, sitting in a train. Yes, one of the trains you can catch in a subway. I happen to be on the R train right now, and I’m going to ‘ride it’ all the way to Manhattan – Union Square, to be exact. From there, it is but a mere 5 minute walk to where I live!

I’m going to eat out tonight – dinner’s with Calvin. Sadly, I don’t think I’ve left a very good impression on him – I can’t be sure though. After all, he was drunk.

57th Avenue.

I wonder if the other people in this train are giving me strange looks – I certainly look lik ea bit of a creep, writing this and glancing around to gauge reactions; they must think I’m a kind of spy. Today was my brother’s birthday, and I must say, I’m pretty ashamed of how the day went. It was mostly be sleeping – up until two in the afternoon in fact. Is that not terrible!? I think I’ll play some music to listen to while I wait for my stop.

63rd Avenue.

Yay, opened iTunes and plugged in my headphones at that last stop. Time to continue writing! But anyway, Calvin’s off to study abroad next semester, so I really won’t be seeing him for a long time! Not that we’re best friends or anything of even remotely that kind, but still, we’ve hung out a couple times!

Woodhaven Boulevard – Battery Plaza.

Awesome, I put the iTunes on shuffle. And now the train’s starting to fill up some more – I might have to put the laptop away soon, we’ll see. I cannot wait until Monday – Nabila’s coming over to NYU. And she’s all MINE! No long walks to Chinatown or anything. I’m not sure what we’ll do yet, I’ll see. I was on the bus before I got onto the subway and we drove by St. Johns, so I thought of her and gave her a call. Hopefully, she’ll ace that chem. Final, I have full faith in her!!

Grand Avenue – Newtown.

Hmm, this man just got on with a giant “Dirt Devil” vacuum all wrapped up as though it’s a Christmas present – haha cute, talk about presents with a message. I actually am fairly excited for our Secret Santa gift exchanges! I’m not sure what I’m getting my person yet, but I hope she’ll llove it! I have to get her something full of inside jokes though – or design my own add-ons to the main gift.

Elmhurst Avenue.

I should probably take a look at my pen – the one that has the subway map built in. Honestly, if there’s one thing I appreciate NYU for, it’s that. I’m also getting kind of worried now…wouldn’t want this laptop getting stolen. People probably thin k I’m a college student working on her paper here on the train to or from college – well they’re partially right. And I could be working on my paper, I’m just choosing not to.

I just put on this song by Birdman and Lil Wayne. It’s called “Hustle” I think I like it.

There’s an advertisement about Remy Martin right in front of me on this train – it reminds me of tonight; I want to have fun! It’s the one day I can actually relax until another hectic (first half) of Winter Break begins.

Roosevelt Avenue. Holy shit, 2142354 people just got on.

Rawr! I just turned down the contrast on my entry, but there are entirely too many people here. Uncomfort levels are rising, and I’m pretty sure the woman sitting next to me can read what I’m writing if she chooses to. Time to put this away! For now….

Roosevelt Avenue’s actually where I usually get off on my way home FROM NYU, because it’s a 5 minute drive away from my dad’s office. This journal entry is too full of references – where I am.

65th Street.

I don’t particularly like stalkers.

Meh, we’ve gotten this far, I might as well keep going I suppose. So in efforts to prevent people from reading my entry, I’ve turned down the magnification on this page to 40%. I also can’t see any typos I make, if I make them. And because journals are all about raw and untouched emotion, all of the typos I do make (that dWord doesn’t auto-correct, anyway) are going to stay here. It’s all part of the experience!

Northern Boulevard.

Hmm, I think I’m going to move to a more secluded stop. Brb! There we go, operation successful. I’m still going to leave the magnification down though, just in case.

Last night, I was up until 4:30 in the morning. Why? I was watching a movie with Andrew ❤

Andrew’s my boyfriend.

Isn’t that crazy….that I have a boyfriend. I never thought that’d happen again, although at the same time, I have to admit, I did rush into things. I rushed a lot.

54th Street. Or was it 42nd? I got distracted, grr. We’ll leave it open to interpretation.

I have rushed into the relationship. For one thing, I did tell myself that I would wait. And oh crap, the next subway stop’s already here. How’d that happen so fast!?

Steinway Street.

I wanted a boyfriend who went to NYU with me. But Andrew doesn’t study anywhere near me – he’s at UMBC this year. And yeah, he’s looked into schools in the city, but how probable is it that he’ll actually attend one here – not very likely at all. I guess I can’t do anything but wait. And be prepared to flip this laptop down and get out of the train when my stop comes around. And probably check when this stop comes around. Hmm. The fact that the R train’s running on a local schedule helped – we’ve stopped lots of places that it wouldn’t originally have to stop at. Wow I’ve already written two ful pages on Microsoft Word.

36th Street.

I should be getting there soon actually…Union Square is two stop saway from Herald Square, which is 34th Street. And we’re already on 36th! So all is going well.

So back to Andrew. He’s very sweet and adorable, and I’ve been dating him for all of about 6 days. I’m just scared of awkward silences…we have the ability to talk to each other for hours, but it’s just not the same as it used to be with Dan. With Dan, he would get equally as crazy and hyped up about something, and the two of us would go on for hours about the most random things.

With Andrew, I get the vibe that he just thinks I’m weird, and shoves my antics aside. But anyway, it’s too early to judge all that, and hopefully, we will last for longer. You know what I mean?

I want to learn how to jerk.

No seriously, have you seen all these new songs that are out, and are all about jerking? Freaking insane man, insane!

Queens Plaza.

Wow, still only on Queenz Plaza; well, we’re finally almost into Manhattan. This is the last Queens stop I believe, but don’t take my word on that. Audio Push has that song out, called “Teach me How to Jerk”, complete with sexy video and all. When they dip, Sara and I die in frustration – their dips are sheer ecstasy to us, honestly!

Can’t believe that it’s almost Winter Break – I won’t be seeing my NYU lovies, as Gian calls us, until the middle of January – that’s kind of very far away. And although I long to meet my closest HS friends, I will miss all these people to death. Potheads included! I’m also pretty sure we stopped somewhere, because I’ve written far too much for usnot to have stopped. Then again, Queens Plaza is pretty far away from Lexington.
I ramble, I digress…apologies. Nobody wants to read a three page diary entry anyway. I should probably stop while I’m still ahead, and have an audience (aka Nabila).

I don’t even think anybody else knows of the URL…what’d be creepy is if I installed some sort of followers application and discovered that I do, in fact, have more than one reader. Creepy!!!

No but honestly, I can only ramble so much.

OH BUT WAIT. I was supposed to rant about watching a ovie last night. Andrew and I watched “Ever After”, and he was just a darling about it. He didn’t complain even once, although I know it was probably too sappy and romantic for his taste. The subway’s getting louder, because I had to turn the volume up on iTunes…I wonder if it’s too loud now. Oh well, I have goo d music, people will just have to deal with it!

Lexington Avenue.

I can’t write any more, DON’T MAKE ME!!!! I’m dyin ): And the train’s filling up. Okay seriously now though, peace.

Lexington Avenue – 59th Street.

Love you, I’ll post you up on livejournal when I get back to my dorm now!
Right after I plug you into a charger.