"I do not know that I am sorry, I do not know that I am ashamed, I do not know that I am degraded in my own esteem. All that I know is, your philosophy and your teaching will not save me. Now, father, you have brought me to this. Save me by some other means!"
He tightened his holdin time to prevent her sinking on the floor, but she cried out in a terrible voice, "I shall die if you hold me! Let me fall upon the ground!" And he laid her down there, and saw the pride of his heart and the triumph of his system, lying, an insensible heap, at his feet. >>>>>> Hard Times [End of Book Two]
Absorb the beauty of the above quote. I will absorb this beauty until Literary Interpretation @ 2PM, forget that it existed until I complete my Spanish examination by 6:10, and then ponder over its beauty after I crash for several hours and complete my shitton of Creative Writing homework assignments. Then, I will sit down, relax, and type out my own lucid ramblings in response to this quote.
Till then, adieu.
Tuesday, March 30
I stand by my word. Even half delusional and barely awake, I recognized that quote as being beautiful. And I stand by it. I do not know that I am sorry. I do not know.
SHE DOES NOT KNOW.
Her Facts have failed her. Her sense of Reason – her impeccable sense of Reason – has failed it. It does not tell her anything a bout matters of the heart. She does not know what to make of her newfound…<i>feelings</i>. She cannnot rightly comprehend what those feelings even are. Why have they suddenly burst through her frozen heart? Her childhood was snatched from her, replaced instead by biology, chemistry, physics, oncology, astronomy, paleontology, archaeology, anthropology, zoology,, etc…
But the learned heartless child is not who goes to her father, broken and torn apart. The Lousa who goes to her father, Mr. Gradgrind, is a shell of the girl she COULD have been. Looking at her weep, rebel, speak out against the crime done to her kidnapped childhood evokes a sense of compassion and pity. She has been so robbed that even her tears don’t do her any good. She cannot even be comforted, because she has been so desperately cushioned from the realities of feelings and emotions from an early age.
That passage makes me want to cry. And any passage that can evoke such strong emotion in me deserves a shout-out. That will be all 🙂