Junior Year and Unfestered Beginnings

Never ever speaking to a certain boy (asshole) again. 
People just don't respect friendships anymore. In my opinion, friendship involves its ups and downs. You can't expect everything to roll perfectly along and then get up and run away the second you hit a bump.

Our bump was on my birthday, I guess. The reason we became friends is because I went out of my way to make his birthday special after his own plans had fallen through. The next year, I did the same thing, we stayed on Skype, talked tons, and just…made his birthday something he could look back to and smile about.

Last year on my birthday, I got a FB wall post, thats all. This year, I was online after midnight of my birthday. Even went to talk to him but I didn't get ANYTHING back birthday-related. He just had a normal convo and I began fuming more and more and then I finally said "wow way to not wish me a happy birthday."

So now if anybody knows even the SLIGHTEST bit about me, they would know how to defuse the situation. He could have:

1. OMG I'M SO SORRY I FORGOT. Happy Birthday Pry! What are you doing for the birthday? etc etc etc. – This proves you're being honest and even though you forgot, you've said happy birthday now and you've posed a question that the innate effervescence within me will forget your mistake and go happily on talking about birthday plans.

2. Pshhh I didn't forget. I HAD A PLAN ALL ALONG, and now you've ruined it. *pulls out secret surprise birthday related graphic* – Okay slightly far-fetched but I do that for my friends. I just feel like nobody loves me as much as I love them. whine whine WHINE. 

3. Sucked it up, listened to me complain that I was so offended he forgot for about 30 seconds and then veered the topic elsewhere. – This would prove that he knows how to LISTEN because you know, thats part of what friends do. Also would give me a chance to vent and blow off steam and then go back to being normal. 

Instead, he chose to tell me that it had only been 2 hours into my birthday. No big deal that he didn't wish me at midnight. THAT = INSTANT TURN OFF. Not even sexually, I mean like…if thats your response, I don't want to hear it. Tuning out of the conversation right about now. So thats what I did and then I didn't talk to him for about 10 days. He tries to initiate a conversation then and pretend like everything is okay. Fuck you, its not. And just because I say so doesn't mean you automatically back out like a pussy and say you're not going to talk if I don't want to.

It just proves how shallow you were. How shallow you ARE. If all it takes to ruin a two+ year friendship is YOU forgetting MY birthday, not apologizing or trying to make it up to me, pretending its not a big deal, acting like YOU'RE the one who has been wronged, and then flatly telling me you don't care to maintain friendships with people who only complain and nothing else.

I'm sorry that for ONCE in your fucking life, somebody stood by their anger at you and didn't allow you to manipulate the story so you were the martyr being apologized to. I'm sorry that I didn't say I'm sorry for getting mad and go crawling back to you. I'm sorry I have some pride and dignity and self-respect.

But really, I'm just sorry I lost a friend. As shallow as that friend ended up being, that was definitely a great two years of my life. I'm sorry I couldn't expect the same support I gave.

On a separate note, junior year starts in two days. I'll be commuting till I convince the 'rents to let me pay rent on an apartment in the city with Issela. Wish me luck!

And even though the majority of this update comes across as me being mad, it really isn't. I haven't talked to him since July 30th. It has already been over a month, I'm over the addiction. He's being deleted from my life. Maybe not my memories, but I won't sour the good ones by dwelling on this too wrong and finding even more faults in him. 


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