Forums…I’m seriously done?

I am currently not an active member of any forum. Anywhere. I’m not even actively friends with anybody I’ve met from a forum. Besides Kyle and Mike, and that’s only because I’ve hung out with the both of them outside of the web.

But yeah, its all really done. Over.

No more forums. I don’t know why it happened that way. I guess quitting Neofreaks was a major step, but I’ve also just grown as a person. And not in a pretentious way like I’m too good/old/smart for this forum, but in a way where I can see myself having a fulfilling on and offline life without the need to seek attention and friendship from people I will never meet. I won’t go out of my way, at least. Not with these people who didn’t share many common interests with me, and frankly, didn’t give a single shit about my disappearance from their life.

Dan was able to abandon our friendship and pretend like a year+ of talking every single day, skyping almost every single night…was nothing. And if that’s the kind of relationships I get from a forum like Neofreaks, then i don’t need it anymore. I haven’t needed it anymore for a long time, that’s just why I quit. A friendship, or its thin facade anyway, can be ended in an instant. Block the person, quit the forum, delete them from Facebook, just stop talking to them. What are they going to do? They can’t show up at your doorstep and demand to talk, to reason, to sort things out. Once its over and you stop communication, its really and truly over. And people are heartless! They differentiate between the quality of on and off-line relationships, and because ultimately, they call the shots so easily, I’m confined to their definition too. I can’t call somebody a friend if they want nothing to do with me, and I know I will ever again in my entire life have a chance to deal with it.To fix it. Once its over on a forum, its really and truly over forever.

Stll though, its a shock. For yeas now…probably at least 5 or 6…for that long, I have relied on forums to be a constant source. Somewhere I can vent, find people to talk to, to become attached to, to love. T consider such good friends they could be family.

The difference though, and its a key one, is that the online family I thought was mine no longer is. And it didn’t take much for it all to dissipate and leave me with nothing.

If thats how the forum world works, I guess I should be glad that I no longer play a part in it. It has been a rollercoaster ride for sure, though. I’ll never forget it…forums are what mademe who I am. I’m not shy and reserved and quiet and alone, because these people gave me the anonymous courage to be bold and make friends. I discovered my passions, all of them, because of forums. I would never have come across Photoshop and attached to it the way I did without the constant support of my forum when I was first learning. I didn’t go it alone, and they were there to see my habit firmly established and practiced on. I’m not just an infrequent dabbler who knows how to get rid of a pimple. I’m a true artist. Forums gave me that. I am forever indebted.

But as for the rest of it, the drama and fakeness…that is something I won’t miss. For sure. I don’t need it anymore. I have to stop living in that world and make a place for myself in reality.

Forums, it is really and truly and certainly over.

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2 thoughts on “Forums…I’m seriously done?

  1. ahh I commented but I entered the log in info wrong and it disappeared! Okay so, I’m proud of you because you did become a true artist and did grow a lot 🙂 But maybe not all forums are like that, what about a common interest like a book? I’m a lurking member of harvest moon forums & a Namco forum and I can rant on that stuff when I’m really in the mood or analyze or whatever, which I’m sure you’d enjoyy with that series you really liked.. (was it Percy Jackson? can’t recall right now haha)

    But anyway, you deserve a lot better, and I’m not just saying that. You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met, I can’t say how much your friendship means to me! And if they can’t see how great you are, they’re really not worth your time! I mean, I should spit on them for wasting your time in the first place! xDD So don’t look back, no regrets, they’re the “past” for a reason, to make way for a better future 🙂
    Love yaaa & more Pryanka for me! YESSS xD
    But yeah– you’ll meet new & better people, and make friends who will stick by you no matter what. sometimes it’s hard to tell who those friends will be, but it’ll happen 🙂

    • Woahh, that was a long comment. Full of encouragement and support as usual Nubsy ❤

      And I think…what I was getting at in this post is that its okay that I'm not on forums. I don't need them anymore. If I want to talk to somebody who fits into a niche, whether thats a hobby or a book or a game..I can find that in reality.

      I'm done trying to compensate. I am finally content and happy and UNBURDENED by all these relationship-gone-sours in my life.

      Putting the past behind me, all of it. Moving on forward.

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