Day 03: Pre-Marital Sex?

Day 03 — Regardless of my current status, do I believe a person should save themselves for marriage?

This is difficult, and I feel as though my answer may come off as more politically correct than genuine. Disregarding the current status of my virginity, I believe a person should save themselves for love. Love may come before marriage, and you may love a man or woman you cannot (or do not) eventually marry. I don’t think it’s fair to deprive your emotions by engaging in passion-less sex after marriage because your mind wonders what it would have been like with somebody you love.

Ideally, we hope that everybody can simply marry who they love, and that their devotion to one another is so strong that they will not need to look at anybody else, and they will know that they are right for each other. In this idyllic world, the two partners can wait to consummate their marriage and avoid pre-marital sex. I don’t know one would ignore these passions completely, but I’m sure that there are couples who have the capability of exercising this restraint. I don’t know though, it feels a bit ironic – those couples who are madly in love having the patience of waiting until after sex. Isn’t sex the ultimate consummation of love? That’s a debate all on its own.

I think getting to know a person and loving them is first and foremost. I don’t think it’s fair that couples think that pre-marital sex is just a test run of ultimate satisfaction. If you love each other enough to get married, you will have your lifetimes to learn how to please one another. It’s definitely a learning process. Having sex before or after marriage shouldn’t matter if it’s with somebody you love. It will be special all the same.

So if you’ve found your soulmate, or even somebody you know you will be happy with, and you’re willing to spend the rest of your life with them, I don’t think it matters if you save yourself or not. I think if a relationship is at that level…you should know each other deeply enough to know that virginity (or the lack thereof) doesn’t matter.

Save yourself until you’ve found the one. If you end up in a situation where you sleep together, don’t regret it. But I don’t know if I would purposely withhold sex after finding a guy I love just because I want to wait until after marriage. If it happens and I love him, it’s alright. It’s right.


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