Day 14: Keeping Secrets (Alternative Question)

Day 14 — Because my parents never found out, I remember getting away with _____ as a teenager…

Oh dear, there’s no way I’m revealing that kind of scandalous information on a public forum when my parents might encounter it some day in the future when they’ve learned the definition of blogging! You all shall have to read my answer to the alternative question now! Enjoy below (:

Your daughter tells you she is bringing home her boyfriend for dinner. When they arrive, she introduces you to a man who is not your same race. Sometime during dinner she announces that they have been married for the last six months. What bothers you more? The difference in race or being excluded from the wedding…

I think back on this question and I’m surprised by how much of my mother is in me. The fact that she’s been married for the last six months would come as crippling news. I do however, have to make a complaint – the question is not phrased to be culture friendly. Let’s list out what’s wrong with this scenario!

1. Girls cannot have boyfriends, least of all announce he’s coming to dinner.
2. If a girl dates, her parents are not to find out about it
3. If a girl dates outside her own culture/religion/ethnicity, her parents are DEFINITELY not to find out about it
4. A girl lives with her parents until she gets married. So if she’s been married for 6 months, they haven’t been living together yet.

I would have to be a major failure as a parent if my daughter married somebody and I didn’t know. But the more I think about it….I do think that she should marry within her own ethnicity, so that part would bother me too. This is just, overall, a really stupid scenario though. If I pretend I am white though, I will say that I would be bothered most about not being a part of her wedding.

But I mean really, that is just NOT how relationships work! A marriage is a month-long celebration. What girl would willingly give that up and lie to her parents O.o It just makes no sense to me. There’s NO way this secret can be kept that long. Nope.

This question cracks me up. It’s structured to make everybody respond by saying how outraged they are by the hidden marriage, but I think that race does play a big part. I want somebody I can speak to in Hindi as well as English. I want somebody who will cook me an aloo ka parantha on Sunday mornings when I want to sleep in. I’m sure these things can be learned, but that level of comfort and integration wouldn’t be present in a marriage outside of our race.

Yeah, super unrealistic question. Hidden marriage bothers me more, but I am bothered by race too. If my daughter is going to take this drastic step, she should have the balls to introduce him to the family before she marries him so we can get to know the person behind the race barrier. If he loves her and she loves him, great. But Indian or not, I want him to be from a good family and I want them to have a proper wedding.



List of rules and questions is here

Please take a moment to check out the other wonderful blogs participating in 30 days of Blogging Honesty with me!


10 thoughts on “Day 14: Keeping Secrets (Alternative Question)

  1. I like the way you ended it, because I was about to say that I would fight you to the death on behalf of your daughter who wanted to marry for love but you were stuck on race XD Well actually you can raise your daughter anyway you want, but she can cry at villa della Nabila any time she wants to XD haha I kid. You’ll be a great parent, and I think this is a well-thought out answer, because I believe the rules your parents made were because they want the best for you, and the rules you would make would be because you want the best for your daughter.

    It’s also very mature. I’m proud! You’ll be a great mom someday!

    • LOL villa della Nabila, that sounds awesome ❤ Don't forget, I'm supposed to have a room designed all to myself in your villa! Yeah you're absolutely right – you do what's best for your kid even though they hate you for it at that time. They'll see the light xD

  2. Now that’s what I’m talking about. Honesty!

    Well I am sorry about the cultural barrier as far as the question is concerned. If you want to take part in the challenge next year in February – how about coming up with a question for it. So far I have six questions and the alternative question. That leaves 22 questions. Would you like to come up with one of them? You can do it even if you don’t take part in it next year. Let me know.

    • I would be honored! I’ll try to come up with a different way to phrase this question that might be more culturally friendly! I’m sure it can be done, since I understand what you mean, but it just…makes me feel incredulous that this would even happen haha.

    • If I really sit down and think about it, that’s when I realize that I’m not that much different from them. I want to rebel, but I wouldn’t want my daughter to marry somebody who wasn’t Indian and didn’t understand! It’s weird…perspective shifts do so much. I used to brush the question off and offhandedly say that I would marry who I wanted, and so would my kids. Now I’m not so sure!

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