I Love-Hate Secrets

Ending the Drafts! I have 21 “Drafts” in my Drafts folder on WordPress. These are unplanned drafts…like starting to write and then just forgetting about it. That, or I began a post, meant to go back to it, and never did. Some of them are just titles, like this one. I gave this post the title “I Love-Hate Secrets” but this must have originally been written like a year ago or something. I have no idea what I wanted to talk about then, so I’m just going to bring it to the present, and end the draft by completing the post! In this first one, it’s easy because there aren’t any thoughts I need to pick up again. I just want to clean out my drafts folder and give you guys some entertainment while I’m at it.

I Love-Hate Secrets.

Doesn’t everybody? I love the good kinds of secrets, and hate the bad ones. That’s the simple breakdown of the sentiment.

When you walk into a room and the lights suddenly turn on to a mass of your favorite people in the world shouting out “Happy Birthday,” that’s a secret of the very best kind. The kind that fills you at first with consternation, but then elation. The secret that makes you so happy and special, but also makes you cry and swat at your friends to say, “Oh, you shouldn’t have!” when inside of your head, you are jumping up and down in excitement.

I’ve never really had a Surprise birthday party. Someday, I would love one. I have many years of birthdays, maybe someday, one year will be special enough and feasible enough for a surprise birthday party? Nobody needs a secret birthday party, but nobody is averse to the idea either, you know?

Then there are the bad kinds of secrets, the kinds that hurt you and make you cry bad tears. Like the secret that your boyfriend was cheating on you. Or finding out that your friends are only with you out of pity, and find you incredibly boring and pathetic. Neither of these have happened to me, but I would imagine they are bad secrets – the kind to hate.

So this differentiation got me thinking. Thinking about the grey area. The kinds of secrets you have to love and hate. Sometimes, secrets are loved when they are not revealed, right? If my boyfriend was cheating, I would love not to know. I think it would be easier, less hurtful, and simpler to ignore the signs until we broke up. I would hope he had the guts to break up with me if he loved another, but I don’t wanna know.

This song makes me tear up a little bit every time. Especially when I’m in contemplative moods like this one. I’m going to leave this song to finish up what I have been trying to express. This is why I love-hate secrets. Sometimes, it is better not to know.


7 thoughts on “I Love-Hate Secrets

  1. I don’t think, we, humans were not designed to keep secrets.
    Maybe that is why blogs, twitter and that postsecret site is so popular.

  2. There is a saying. “A little knowledge can hurt you.” But I agree. It’s much better to have the knowledge than not have it.

    • But see, that’s why I love-hate secrets. At times, I just don’t want to know. I love that they are secret and can’t shatter my life. But of course, I hate them the second they are revealed for the trust that must have been broken.

  3. i received a surprise party some time in high school. looking back, it was so obvious but because i did not expect anything i still ended up being so surprised. 😆 i’m uncertain about the bad kind of secrets though. idk if they are not worth knowing or otherwise. i guess it is a case to case basis. i enjoyed this post a lot though. way to start cleaning the drafts folder!

    • Thanks! I know it would be a case-to-case basis, I agree with you on that, but I still think that..sometimes life gets too messed up when certain secrets are revealed. I’m sure it’s better not to live in a delusion, but it’s definitely not easier.

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