Dear Pryanka,

You scheduled this post to appear on this blog one year later. In the middle of the night, December 23, 2012.

First of all, this is proof – the world did not end. You’re still alive. You’re still strong, and you’re probably still stubborn as hell. I don’t see one year changing that much. You wrote this a year ago, in the dark, just a little bit disillusioned. You were procrastinating – didn’t want to start cleaning your room just yet.

Here’s what I have to say to you about college. Hopefully…you’re just about done. I hope Spring 2012 worked out for you. I hope, from the bottom of my heart. Financial Aid at NYU has sucked. It has been a PAIN in your ass since you first started college. I would even go as far as to say that it has ruined the NYU experience for you

I can probably also say with confidence that one year from now, as 2012 comes to a close, that you probably still absolutely despise the Financial Aid system. You’re probably still battling some sort of issue that popped up from sophomore year. Oh god, I hope you aren’t really. I would be so pissed.

I am most curious though. You single? You still blogging? Still best friends with your best friends?

Jessica? Melissa? Nabila? Carolyn, Misha, Sara? Tommy, even Elvin? Christine? How is everybody, I’m dying to know. Who are the new people in your life?

Will you miss the SRC? Will you miss NYU? What’s the deal with law school? Is nail art still a thing?

So much can change in a year. The last time I wrote a letter to myself, I wrote a mushy pep talk right bfore college started. In it, I told myself how lucky I was to have met somebody like Kashyap. How, after just being at college for a few days, you were a new person. Or perhaps, you were emerging from your shell into the person you now are. The girl who doesn’t mind flirting. She’s experienced and intelligent. Not a genius, but she knows how to make do. She’s passionate and still believes in small things. She photoshops and writes poetry when she’s upset. Hell, she writes letters to herself when she’s upset.

I’m not going to fill this letter with names. We saw how badly that ended with Kashyap. Sometimes, what you think will be a strong friendship fizzles out so suddenly or so heartbreakingly (Kirti, coughcoughugh) that writing about it in a letter is just useless. Just let what happens happen, and understand that you are not meant to be friends with everybody you meet. I just hope that you’ve hung on to the people who are worth it.

I know you miss them though. Dan, Kirti, James. How does it feel a year later? Any better? Easier to accept that people can just decide you aren’t worth it? I’m sure you can tell that I’m still bitter about it, but I hope you’re able to look past that and realize they aren’t worth your time, if they are going to be so fickle. People change, and friendship is supposed to ADAPT to that. You don’t end it because somebody has changed. That is the most LAME excuse ever. That’s what Beverly did to you. What James did. And in the end, they are the ones not worth it. The ones that stick by you, help you get through the bad times. Love and cherish them.

In fact, give them a hug. Blame the letter.

Good luck. Life isn’t going to get easier. You just need to get stronger, all the time.

– Pryanka


One thought on “Dear Pryanka,

  1. Wow that is kinda cool, a scheduled one-year-in-advanced post?? I don’t remember you mentioning this before! But.. one year ago Pryanka still manages to teach me a lot of things.. there’s a lot of stuff in there that is so true.. disheartening but true..

    I don’t think you changed into a new person though. I always admired that you did things without regret and with lots of pride, no matter how judgmental others were. Well, accept for those times you thought I was preaching and judging you which I will refute ’till my dying breath XD I do think you’re a lot more mature now though. We both are. I remember Kashyap, I was so immature back then.. haha.

    You are very right though.. I have to keep reminding myself of that too- that not everybody sticks by me and not everyone wants to be my friend and people can be fickle. That doesn’t mean not to trust in others, but it’s so hard to sometimes… It’s just.. really hard to do the right thing 😦 I guess you realized this way before me huh?…

    Our friendship though, will last a lifetime, I’m pretty sure about it! You’re amazing, you’re always listening to me or helping me out or if I’m missing or out of commission you make sure to contact me, and I love you for that! We’ll always be best friends 🙂 And this isn’t going to be that sappy because I’m still a tad sick haha!

    By the way I check your blog every single day at least twice, just thought you should know. That I’m always creeping. 😀

Leave a Reply to bannakitchen Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s