Dismissability

You know what I feel like sometimes? Like I’m everybody’s “fall-back option.” The one they know they can get if nobody better comes around? You know what I’m talking about? No? Let me demonstrate with a video and blockquote from that video. 

From 0:17 onwards, he says the blockquote that inspired today’s post

Guys always have their “old reliables” aka our “go-to girls” aka our “no matter what, they will always be there for me”

DTrix (Dominic, also an awesome celebrity dancer) may be joking in the video, but I honestly feel that way sometimes. Like I’m easily dismiss-able for somebody better. I need to re-evaluate the kinda guy I go for then hm? Or maybe lower my expectations? 

I JUST WANT SOMEBODY WHO WILL TALK TO ME EVERY DAY, IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR?? (Don’t answer that! Apparently, the answer is yes.)

No but on a more real note, I think a lot of the problem is stemming from the fact that I’ve been at home too long. Need to get a job. Need to figure out a productive way to waste enough hours of the day that I’m not dependent on other people to keep me company.

You know why? Because I live in New Hyde Park and have no friends here! (During the school semester. Because really, who the hell wants to STAY here. We all run away for college. I’m just unfortunate enough to graduate a semester early) And I can’t hang out with my friends in NYC because they’re busy studying AND because it’s still really hard for me to get out of the house w/o my mom throwing a mini hissy fit. 

Heh, this turned into a bigger rant than I expected, but really, I do feel like that sometimes 😦 I don’t wanna be the safety that a guy can fall back on after he’s aimed higher and lost. I want to be the one he’s reaching for. Cherish me, love me, adore me. And do it all because you want to, not because there was nobody better and you suppose that I’m good enough.

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