I’ve spent so much time just living these past few weeks (Okay fine, maybe months) that I’ve turned into such a bad blogger.
I’m not even upset at how infrequently I’ve posted, but I really miss having the motivation and desire to post. Hell at one point, I was so passionate about this. It was like in the back of my head, every memory I made and event I participated in, I could spin it into a blog post.
It was kinda amusing – the voice inside my head would narrate my life in beautiful sentences complete with witty anecdotes and a humorous writing style.
If you’ve been blogging for a while, you have to know exactly what I mean. That phenomenon when you bite into dinner only to look up and see your waiter slip on a banana peel and think to yourself “Oh man, this is going to make a helluva good story.” And once you’ve thought that, its almost like you’ve begun writing the sentences in your head.
Am I alone over here?
I used to feel that way ONCE UPON A VERY LONG TIME, and now that feeling is gone. I am nostalgic for those days, when I found it so much easier to just write out all of my thoughts here instead of letting them fester.
I guess maybe a part of that is because I started Controlled Derangement with the intent of keeping it personal but then through participating in writing competitions and events (ie. Poetry Paradise or Blogging Honesty), I really lost the ability to keep this a proviate blog.
Although Nabila is still my most avid reader, she’s no longer my only reader. So I’ve become a lot more self-conscious of what I say and how I say it. Maybe that’s taken the zest out of it for me?
I wonder to myself – who in the hell will care to know about how my day at work was today. Why would people follow my blog to read that. I’m not some president or famous person…!?
ON A MORE INTERESTING NOTE – I RECEIVED MY SECOND LAW SCHOOL ACCEPTANCE LETTER TODAY! I’ve just got to wait on a Financial Aid package now 🙂