Disclaimer: This is FICTION! 🙂 Really bad and rambling fiction, but fiction nonetheless.
It was a silly attraction and didn’t have much substance to it at first. She was another pretty face in the crowd, but we had a mutual friend, so why the hell not.
I approached her and asked if I could buy her a drink. I remembered that we were at an open bar party after that and felt like a bit of a dud. She was polite though and laughed, pretending that I was being sarcastic, and not stupid. She let me place her drink order for her anyway and we discovered that we liked the same one. That was the first thing we talked about. Our mutual love for Long Island Iced Tea.
I found out she didn’t live too far, so I thought we could hang out sometime and told her so. I probably rushed it and blew my chance, I was allowing myself to think, when she just smiled and said yes. Just like that, she said yes. I almost asked her if that was a date but wisely remembered to keep my mouth shut. To be honest, I was only saved by the arrival of our drinks.
The problem is, when you meet a girl at a bar and the only thing you know is that you both love Long Island Iced Tea, opening up a conversation is kind of hard. At first it wasn’t so bad because we had all of the getting to know each other ground to cover. Those were easy things like our favorite color, movie, actor, actress, book, song, genre, and band.
Then we moved on towards tougher ones and we were talking about the first time we had sex and our first kiss. Before I knew it, conversation became a series of erotic questions like when did you last masturbate and what’s your sexual fantasy and I realized we were already one whole week into our relationship.
I was shocked she stuck around for a loser like me but something must have been workingso I prayed really hard not to jynx it but then worried that I might have jynxed it anyway by praying.
Conversation wasn’t stale, but it became pretty routine after our first month. I couldn’t ask her about her favorite things because I was supposed to know them already, except I didn’t remember much except she liked the color green and The Green Mile. The reason I remembered those two specific bits were because they both had the word green in them.
She didn’t live too far like I said but it was hard to hang out consistently, and I felt like sometimes, we didn’t see each other enough to really be boyfriend and girlfriend. It’s like every time I saw her I just wanted to sleep with her and I could tell she resented that. But when we only saw each other once or twice a week and I had to satisfy my hormones, what was I supposed to do? Sit around and talk about her favorite color or how her day went again?
It’s not that she was boring, but I had no clue how to stop being boring when we were talking. Things got monotonous like How was work today and What did you have for dinner? In a moment of weakness, I wondered what the hell we’d talked about until 5am that first night we called each other on the phone. It wasn’t that long ago, but now we barely spoke much and I didn’t know properly why.
Complacency was killing our drive – osex drive and our conversation drive both. I told her let’s do something exciting but we both signed because we both worked full time jobs and didn’t have the time for exciting things. The weather was still miserable and I felt like if I didn’t hold her in my arms often enough I would forget what it feels like.
She was bitchy to me at times and snappy over the phone, but I hoped that if we spoke to each other more, it would fix things. Why did things need fixing already when they were so brand new, relatively speaking?
I got to wondering about my friends in the long-term relationships and whether they had even encountered a post one month rut of relationship boredom or if we were the lucky ones. They seemed pretty comfortable in each other’s skins but I still hadn’t gotten a chance to indulge my eyes for an entire night because we were busy and because our lives wouldn’t let us.
Was it a natural progression of a relationship? I’d never had one before for context and she didn’t really know much about it either. I didn’t want to talk about it because it would get her to thinking and when she thought too hard, things didn’t really work out in my favor ever. I let her be and I let it be and I just went on working and talking to her and seeing her once or twice a week. I listened to her talk about her day on the phone and sighed in all the right places.
I just didn’t understand if the progression of my relationship with her was normal or not. I wanted to define it and label it and make a list of all our problems so I could figure out which ones we could fix. I was the one trying to iron kinks out of our relationship like it was a dress shirt and she was living with the flow of things. She was accepting that I needed order and adjusting herself for me and here I was thinking such unkind things about our future.
What right did I have, really, to question her?
Then it was two months and I noticed but she didn’t say anything and I didn’t say anything and in my heart I was confused because shouldn’t the date have mattered a little? Shouldn’t she have stayed awake until midnight and just mentioned something? Every time my thoughts strayed that way of course then I thought about how clingy I would come off and she would bolt seeing an uncool guy like me so I stopped thinking about these things and stopped acting desperate. She’s the one who taught me to play cool.
Complacency could be a good thing, I mused when I saw my long-term relationship friends with their significant others. They were content and relaxed and didn’t have grabby hands the way she and I did. Just because I couldn’g get enough of her was that enough of a reason for her to stay?
I don’t know, but I guess it was. They were interesting beginnings, and we do like to reminisce about them once in a while over the last dregs of our cups of coffee, hers made by me just the way she likes them.