Loss, Grief, Death

These are all tough topics that are hard to breach in everyday conversation. But they’re heavy and grim and very upsetting when they do pop up.

On Thursday night, my classmate Lauren was in a terrible car accident. Our section was just getting to know each other, having met for the first time during orientation that Monday. I was scared and worried for her, and I could see from her Facebook page (I was already FB friends with her…she was one of the first few people I added) that it was serious. We were all praying for her and just hoping she would pull through.

Thursday was our last day of class for the week and I have no doubt she was just unwinding from a really stressful, scary, and intimidating start to law school with friends. I don’t know, maybe she was on her way home or maybe she just had to go pick something up in the city. I don’t know. She was walking, not driving, and it was dark (So it had to be evening, after 7-8PM?) when she was hit by a garbage truck.

I do not know if she was jaywalking or drunk or if the garbage truck driver ran a red light. I know that this classmate that we had all met that could possibly have been my friend down the line, was now in a medically induced coma as doctors attempted to revive her from her injuries.

On Sunday night, she passed away. The same girl who I SPOKE to on Thursday, the same one who assured me during break that I did the briefs for the right cases, was DEAD. Gone just like that after spending four days in law school with us and ingraining herself into all of our hearts and memories forever.

She was beautiful inside and out, with a sparkling personality that refused to be put down. She was kind and always smiling. She was spirited and generous with her answers and her hugs. She didn’t deserve this. She was young and ambituous.

It’s not FAIR. Rather than depression or sadness, I felt very angry. I don’t know who to blame for the accident, but my anger is at the unjustness of it all. The irony that we are learning about all the loopholes and nuances of justice and then easier BAM, a reality check. A practical application, if you will.

Her funeral was held on Wednesday, August 21. I pray that she has found a new home in Heaven that is every bit as kind as she has been to everybody she met on Earth.

Lauren, I hope the law school up there’s got easier professors because you fuckin deserve it. RIP to an angel that briefly but profoundly touched the lives of everybody at St. Johns University School of Law.


4 thoughts on “Loss, Grief, Death

  1. That’s so sad.. I know how you feel. Once I met and talked to a nice man and had a whole conversation with him (he was a coworker) and then the very next day he passed away after a car accident. That’s just how it is, anyone can be gone in an instant. I still wonder why it is that I met him that day. My condolences to her family and your class.

    • Oh my god I never heard about this! I understand what you mean absolutely. It makes me wonder and hope that her last few days here were filled with the wonder of new things and new people, and sort of glad she got to at least experience her dream starting to come true

  2. I’m so sorry to hear this. Losing someone, no matter how close or how briefly you knew them, it’s hard, confusing, sad…so many different things. My Dad always says as we get older death becomes a part of our lives, the more people we know pass, the more common it becomes with age…and it’s true….but I don’t think it ever gets easier, or really ever makes sense. I don’t know if we’ll ever really understand it. I’ve known an incredible number of people in my life who have passed away, and I still don’t get it. I pray for your friend, and for you, for peace. *hugs*

    • Thank you so much for your kind words Jen! I know what you mean…I just found it so hard to believe/understand that she’s just gone like that. She has many people grieving for her, but many more praying for her so she will be alright ❤ It's tough because in law school, they are usually very stoic and no-nonsense about this. They try to sympathize but end up saying "take your time, but don't fall behind"….which is sort of useless in the end.

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