When you start to wonder if you’re initiating contact too much, that’s when you know you’re in trouble. I’ll explain.
When you are truly comfortable with a person and want to say something to them, do you hesitate or do you just tell them what you’re thinking? When it comes to my best friends, I don’t hesitate. If I’ve already spoken to them in the morning but I think of a really funny joke or want to talk to them again, there’s no worry that I’m bothering them or texting them too much. I just do it. I just make the call or send the text. The worry that I’m initiating contact twice in one day doesn’t even enter my head. It’s not even a thing.
How many of you can say the same thing? I’m sure most of you will agree that when it comes to your friends, there is no fear of initiation. There’s no thought of initiation. You don’t think actively about how many times you’ve initiated contact in the past few days and whether you should wait for them to call you first or not. It’s not a worry because you’re secure and comfortable. You’ve bonded over the years. There is no apprehension before talking to them
But the moment you introduce feelings to the fray, everything changes. You start to wonder – hmm, why hasn’t he texted me all morning, why didn’t she tell me she went out last night? Suddenly, making a phone call becomes more complicated. Am I too breathy? Is my voice too low? What if I say the wrong thing? What’ll we talk about anyway, maybe I should just text him instead.
All these crazy emotions suddenly swirling inside of you, making it impossible to initiate contact securely for the timebeing. There is a new thought process added – the one that questions why it’s been 12 hours with no contact. Worries that it’s too early or too late. It’s so goddamn annoying to find yourself second-guessing the natural.