Blogging Honesty – Youngins’ DARE

There were several dares to choose from – here is a list from Tom’s website HERE.

Dear Pryanka,

Know that as you get older, you will continue to write letters to your past and future self. And before I write anything else to you, know that you are still true to yourself, and that you are loved.

You’re 16 years old, so that puts you in 11th grade? Oh no, does that mean that you’re still dating him? I guess that’s where I’ll begin this letter then. You won’t understand why he leaves you, but know that it isn’t the reason you think it is. It’ll be so, so hard. I know baby, it’s going to hurt for a long time, but I’m so proud of you for putting that energy into your AP exams and acing them. Especially that 5 in AP Biology you’re going to get – it’ll be worth every tear you shed after he dumped you.

Don’t worry, you’re too young to know it, but it happened for a good reason. It wasn’t a realistic relationship and you both would not have remained satisfied. Especially once you started college. I know you admire Jess and Gideon right now, but not every couple is meant to end up like them. By the way, I’m 21 now, and they’re still together, it’s amazing.

I need to steel you for something. I know that college was mainly about escaping the parent trap, but you’re going to meet some AMAZING people along the way. People you can’t really imagine life without anymore. Cherish your high school friends though, because after HS, I think we both know the ones you’ll keep in touch with.

I’m supposed to detail the journey. I guess I can give things away if you promise not to dwell on them. Maybe if you were able to process this and then forget it, maybe it would make you a confident person? But I know giving you the details now would totally mess up the future. I mean, the ME who is writing this letter doesn’t remember receiving it at 16, so there has to be some way of explaining that. I guess there were moments when a peaceful assuredness came over me. Perhaps that will be the feelings elicited from this letter.

Your journey will be bumpy. Nobody has a smooth journey anyway, and what would be the fun in that? Boring, plain old vanilla.

Your mom still makes the most amazing cold coffee. Aka coffee milkshake. And no, you still don’t have an actual Coffeemaker in your life.

I’m stalling. I need to tell you about college, but that means opening up a raw, still sort of vulnerable part of me. But this letter is being written for an honesty challenge, so I’ll get to it.

You will end up in your dream college! It will be extremely tough, and you will not be an A student. Your 4.0 from High School will pretty much mean nothing.

College will be a lot of firsts. Your first kiss, your first drink, your first time kissing a girl. Your first time completely drunk. Your first time…doing it. Your first boyfriend. Yeah, somewhere along the way, you will realize that Dan didn’t even count. And all that heartache was for nothing, except the 5 you got in AP Bio, like I said, will make it worth it in its own twisted way. Want to know something better? You still talk to him.

You will be stronger, more independent. You will have experienced things, dined out, drank, partied, gone clubbing. WALKS OF SHAME. A few of them. Okay maybe like one.

You will be less of a nerd. You’ll have a life, and you’ll have a wonderful time in the city. You’ll fulfill your dream of living in your own apartment in the city. No guest policy or anything.

No, you still haven’t been to Top of the Rock. You have, however, now been to Coney Island once, and also to the Highline now.

You know what it feels like to reject somebody’s advances. It’s a heady feeling, and you probably understand what Dan and John felt like. You know who I’m talking about. But you’re still sensitive, and you’ll try your best to make amends. It isn’t your fault you’re fabulous, right?

Right now, the almost-21 year old you is at a crossroads. You really want a boyfriend. I really want a boyfriend. I guess in that department, we’re just going to remain lacking. Let’s see how things turn out, shall we. Everything happens for the best.

Boys will always send mixed signals. Just trust your head and study a lot when you feel down. That’s a good habit, keep it. In fact, I love you for it.

Yours always and forever,
Pryanka

Day 30: Forbidden Fruit

Day 30 — One question or subject matter if I were asked here on 30 Days of Blogging Honesty I know I would refuse to answer or definitely lie about is…

I would not talk about death. The way the question was posed in this month’s honesty challenge is fine, but I don’t think I would be able to talk about my feelings after a loved one’s death. That is just too personal.

I would not, along a similar vein, want to talk about the “dark stuff” of my childhood. Everybody has those wisps of darkness shrouding their past, no matter how trivial they may seem to others. For me, much of my dark stuff revolves around my relationship with my cousins. There are just some things too painful to come clear about. Too shameful even. I would avoid dredging up those nightmares and keep them in the closet. Door shut tight and forever locked, and that’s how it will stay. There are things about my past that nobody but myself will ever know.

I don’t know if I’d be able to talk brazenly about things I’ve done/lied about that people can later find out and hold against me. If I have done anything illegal in the past, it will not be mentioned. Except for the one time I walked out with a toy balloon (You know the small ones attached to a straw) when I was really young. My mom noticed once we were a block away and we turned back to pay for it. I hadn’t really stolen it intentionally. I was just holding it and then we left and it was still in my hands. I was too young to “steal” and I think I sort of just forgot I was holding it and grabbed my mommy’s hand and left when she said we were leaving.

BUT OTHER THAN THAT, all other illegal matters stay off this blog.

That about sums it up. Sex (specifics), death, illegal doings, and dark stuff.

 

Note: It was truly a PLEASURE writing this Blogging Honesty challenge with everybody. I have saved all participants to my Bloglovin account and fully intend to keep updated with everybody’s blogs. Hopefully now that the intensity of posting daily is over, it will be much more manageable to peruse everybody’s blog as they post. I have scheduled this to be posted one minute before midnight. I look forward to completing the challenge, but I must admit that it was quite an ordeal. I had final exams crop up and the LSAT is an ever-looming presence. Still, I persevered and I’ve managed to complete the thirty questions in thirty days. I’m proud of myself! Now I’m going to sit back, breathe, (write two papers before Wednesday) and do a dare soon.

 That’s all, tis done. THE END.

 

xoxo,
Pryanka

List of rules and questions is here

Please take a moment to check out the other wonderful blogs participating in 30 days of Blogging Honesty with me!

Day 29: TV from 1960

Day 29 — My television is showing the same show on every channel. I really don’t mind watching ____ (from the 1960’s) and I really love this show because…

I am not a TV/Film/Production major. I don’t even have very many Tisch friends. Issela, your production minor doesn’t count so shush.

I don’t even know what TV shows are from the 90’s, let alone the 60’s. I was -30 years old then. I was too young to be coherent, the decade just flew by, you know?

Well I did a quick google of TV shows around in the 1960s and decided I would pick a show that sounded familiar. I lucked out and founddd….

It aired first in 1962 but re-aired on TV in the mid 80’s as well. There must have been a revamped version (Or maybe just reruns?) in the 90’s when I was growing up.

I loved the Jetsons! I wouldn’t mind if TV only had the Jetsons. I don’t watch much TV anyway and this was a lighthearted but amazing show to watch. I loved it more than The Flintstones and even The Brady Bunch. This was my favorite cartoon TV family ❤

xoxo,
Pryanka

List of rules and questions is here

Please take a moment to check out the other wonderful blogs participating in 30 days of Blogging Honesty with me!

Day 28: Erasing Social Boundaries

Day 28 — If I could do one thing that is socially unacceptable and know I would not be judged, I would…

Oh this is difficult! There are some things I wish I could do without being judged, but I know I would still be punished for them. In that case, I would not do them with or without the judgment of others. In fact, I don’t often care about the judgment of others.

This is a tough one. I don’t know if I would do it, but I want a chance to express my innermost thoughts. That is what this challenge is about after all.

I think if I knew I wouldn’t be judged for it, I would take some time off between college and law school and do some “inner exploring.” I’m not going to be cliche and say I want to find myself, because I think I know who I am already, but I want some fun. With no stress. High school was all about advanced classes and AP Exams and SAT’s and getting into a good college.

Then college was mostly about studying and writing essays and staying up all night to finish homework assignments. Don’t get me wrong, I had fun, but there was overriding stress. Throughout college, I have worked, interned, studied, attended classes, participated in extracurricular activities, managed club leadership positions, and now, studied for my LSAT. It was a lot of work.

So if I could do so without judgment (and if I had the means to do so), I would most definitely take some time off to travel. I would explore, I would learn how to paint and mold clay. I would paint a mural on the walls of my apartment and build a giant DIY nail polish rack. I would backpack through Europe and couchsurf my way around all the different countries. I would go on a cruise, perhaps around the Mediterranean. Maybe with a boy?

I know this doesn’t sound that crazy, but given present social norms, I would be the center of all the Indian Aunty gossip. I can just see their faces now, so scandalized that I was traveling alone or worse yet, with a boy.

xoxo,
Pryanka

List of rules and questions is here

Please take a moment to check out the other wonderful blogs participating in 30 days of Blogging Honesty with me!

Day 27: My Inner Voice

Day 27 — I have an inner voice, and if a friend spoke to me the way my inner voice does at times, I would…

I would probably have avoided many, many sticky situations. Actually, I’ve got to be really honest here – I’ve already avoided many sticky situations because of the friends I do have.

Jessica is basically my inner voice. I am hers too, I hope. Although I’m more of a devilish influence on her.

My inner voice is a little more daring than I actually am. But sometimes it tells me when I should stop and helps me from getting hurt. It isn’t afraid of being brutal honesty.

I don’t think I am able to answer this question properly. I do have a friend who is like my inner voice. I am eternally grateful for her, and I know that I can talk to her about anything with no judgment, just advice. She’s there to simply listen, if that’s what I need, and she’s there to yell at me for being a moron when I so often am one.

So I don’t need to philosophize. I have a friend who is in accord with my inner voice, and I love it. I can always talk things through with her.

Does the honesty sometimes sting when I don’t want to hear the truth? Yes. Yes it does.

But it is so reassuring to know that she’s out there looking out for me the same way my inner voice is.

xoxo,
Pryanka

List of rules and questions is here

Please take a moment to check out the other wonderful blogs participating in 30 days of Blogging Honesty with me!

Day 25: Pet Peeves

Day 25 — My biggest pet peeve that has nothing to do with blogging, being online, computers or anything else related to the Internet is…

I don’t like “backbiting” and gossip much. But that’s too harmful to be classified as a pet peeve according to Misha. So I shall dig around for another that irks me.

I really despise ethnic cliques. 

You know what I’m talking about. That gaggle of giggling girls talking in a foreign language. In America. When they know English.

It’s not just that they’re speaking in an isolating language. No, it’s worse because they act haughty and superior about it. You’re bilingual, I get it. YIPPEE I am so impressed, now get a room.

You know the “Brown” clique at NYU actually calls itself Browntown? That’s just disgusting. Ridiculous and disgusting and gross and revolting and all the other synonyms you can think of. That some ditzy girl wearing 2 lbs of makeup wobbles around in 5 inch heels on the precarious streets of NYC with her gaggle of fellow posse waving around a camera snapping pictures of her “browntown” in loud, girly, giggly voices. Ick. Get out of my way.  (On a separate note, I hate people who walk slowly on the street. Especially when I have only 8 minutes to walk from Union Square to Washington Square Park. Ugh really, bitch, get out of my way)

But yeah, I understand cliques are inevitable because you bond with those who you can relate to. But even then…I think if I was in a group of more than 3 Indians and it wasn’t because I was at a family party, I would go crazy. This sounds so un-patriotic of me. My parents would be so scandalized. I don’t understand why I hate it so much either, but I hate people who insist talking to me in Hindi when we both are raised here and clearly know and use English. AND PEOPLE WITH INDIAN ACCENTS. My gosh I really dislike the Indian accent.

This is like the tip of the iceberg. I could write a whole booklet on sidewalk etiquette. People walking slowly stay to the rightmost side of the right side of the street. People walking in the opposite direction stay to the left side of you at all times. If you’re too busy texting to look up and can tell your shadow is about to collide w/ somebody, move to the right. If everybody did that, the Chinatown sidewalk on a Saturday morning wouldn’t be such a jungle.

 

xoxo,
Pryanka

PS. Yes, I had an urge to really abuse the word “gaggle” in my post today.

 

List of rules and questions is here

Please take a moment to check out the other wonderful blogs participating in 30 days of Blogging Honesty with me!

Day 24: Having a Voice

Day 24 — Given the choice between having to live the rest of my life without my voice, or living the rest of my life without the ability to hear, I would choose…

This was an instantaneous decision – I would live the rest of my life without my PHYSICAL voice rather than lose my ability to hear. I think that adding that last bit is incredibly important. I would lose my ability to hear over my voice, but I would lose my physical voice over my ability to hear. Do you hear the difference? I don’t think that being able to utter words out of your mouth is what constitutes your voice. As writers, all of us have voices whether or not we are able to talk. I’m pretty sure the very fact that we are writers influenced our decisions on this question – most of the responses I read preferred losing voice over sound.

I love music too much to lose my ability to hear. That would cripple me so, so much. Music is how I express myself and soothe my emotions, if you haven’t noticed with the extensive YouTube videos I put on my website. I need music, and I need to be able to hear what everybody else is saying. Because as long as I am able to write and do my graphic design, I will have a voice.

 

xoxo,
Pryanka

 

List of rules and questions is here

Please take a moment to check out the other wonderful blogs participating in 30 days of Blogging Honesty with me!