Pursuing other careers

I have decided that the time has come to think about other career options. I’m just not cut out for law. As much as my heart wants it, LET’S BE HONEST – my standardized test scores and GPA simply aren’t competitive enough. 

I have applied to law schools, a few of them, but I don’t honestly expect to get into any. If I don’t, then I need to pursue other career options and really re-evaluate where my life is taking me.

I’m thinking of doing some research into the teaching field and how much extra schooling that would require. 

Seventeen years of chasing the dream later, I’m finally waking up.

Advertisements

Bedtime Poems – Wishful Thinking

Sometimes

I swim upriver sometimes,
Just to test the current against me,
Just to see if it’s a trickle
Or a Flood. Sometimes it is just a stream.

I speak my mind sometimes,
Just to see who I can anger, of course.
They pulse and quiver with their rage,
And I just brush them all off.

I cheat a little bit sometimes,
Just to make sure I’ll pass.
I make all the right moves and
When I don’t, I make sure nobody notices.

I cry a lot sometimes,
Just to let my confusions drain out of me.
They rush out and rejoice in the open air;
They swirl around me before silently bidding me goodbye.

I lose my temper sometimes,
Just because I can’t bear the invisible barriers.
I try time and time again to break free from Restraints,
But every time, there is another Obstacle, another Problem, another Betrayal.

I feel alone sometimes,
Just because I think nobody understands.
My soulmate is nowhere to be found, and
I pine for a companion sometimes.

I flirt with boys sometimes,
Just to reassure me of my Self.
I try to attract them with Personality first,
But even with looks added on, I fail every time.

I pick fights sometimes,
Just because it’s frustrating when people don’t see it my way.
I don’t mean for them to escalate, and I don’t mean to Hurt.
Still, sometimes that’s exactly what happens.

I let things spin out of my control sometimes,
Just because it’s easier to blame another for my misgivings.
Just because I’m not sure that I am always right,
Sometimes I pass a decision onto somebody else.

I gaze out at the stars sometimes,
Just because each sparkle is a different possibility.
I gaze out and dream of the perfect life,
When I remember who I am and what I will always be.

Freestyle Writing #1 – Just for fun

The midnight moon was beautiful. It was shiny, and it even sparkled. It reminded Heather of fairy dust. Not the moon itself of course, but the beautiful hazy clouds that attempted to veil its beauty.

It is as though the moon leads us to its own magical kingdom, a kingdom where we can defy gravity over and over again without help from technology. On our own, we are able to make of this world what we will.

This world is dreamy, and heavenly. In my mind’s eye, I can see it now. The office dissolves into a serene garden, and immigration is a thing of the past. I walk over to the swing, climb on, and swing away my years.

The midnight moon was beautiful even then, as an eight year old child in school. Well, I wouldn’t be at school at midnight of course, but the moon held its allure even then. I imagined I was a werewolf, or a vampire, or even a moth – so long as I had the capabilities and beauty of a nighttime object, I was safe and secure in my own little haven.

This world is heaven. I glean from it all the happiness I need. It is devoid of relationships, for the very word entails complications. The world is more free, more open, and societal norms are all broken.

I can be a lazy bum if I want to.

Or a hot mess. That’s what society calls it these days.

When I’m on this swing, I can think again. I can feel alive, breathe freely. My thoughts can be heard, just as the sky can be seen. I see the stars, a generous sprinkling of them on the nighttime blanket. The sky doesn’t enshroud me, but it envelops my soul. I am filled with this expansive presence – the presence of the entire world is within me.

I can do whatever, be whatever, and go wherever in this world 0 time and location no longer have any restraints. I can leap across a body of water, leap across a mountain, or simply be content nestling within a valley.

My heaven is full of bright colors; full of different experiences. I want the grass to be green, and the sky to be blue. My heaven is "normal", but better. I do not need the security of wild imagination – if my grass was blue, I’d be bewildered. I do not need change to be happy. I only need freedom. That is the one and only exception – freedom and whatever changes it entails.

I want darkness – without it, my midnight moon would not be relevant, and that’s the basis of my heaven. My foundations lie not within the molten magma but the open skies. I want my core to be orbiting above me, always out of reach.

If I can not touch it, I can not taint it.