Blog Everyday In May – Day 25 – What he told me

Day 25, Saturday: Something someone told you about yourself that you’ll never forget (good or bad)

This incredibly sappy post is going to be dedicated to my awesome friend Dan! We met for the first time just recently during my trip to Canada, but we have known each other online for 5 or so years now. I can remember clearly that even in 12th grade, we were talking to one another CONSTANTLY. I am talking Skype-every-night.

It is not often that you meet somebody with whom the silence is so utterly comfortable. Often times, our Skype sessions consisted of us leavng Skype on and going about our day. There was just comfort in knowing we COULD talk, not that we necessarily had to.

This year on Valentines Day, he told me something that I will never forget

“I just wanted to say you are the best, most amazing female I have ever met in my life”

Admittedly when he said it to me on Skype, I giggled a little, but he is honestly such an amazing and integral part of my life that the sentiment reflected back at me did bring me to tears…on the inside. Hey, what can I say…I don’t like to cry. But he has seen me in my good times and bad. He’s seen me at my most angelic and demonic. My bitchiest and my most dramatic. And he’s still around. So somewhere along the way, I impressed him enough to stand by me and tell me that I am the best, most amazing female he’s ever seen.

THAT’S A FUCKIN HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT.  I will never forget it. It brings me out of the doom and gloom of my present situation. I’ve got a huge smile on my face re-reading that quote and I feel amazing to know that I’ve made an impact on somebody else’s life.

It’s hard to go through life without leaving an impact somewhere, I know. But when somebody TELLS you, it just makes things more tangible and real, you know? Like seeing the ripples made by throwing a stone in water for the first time.

I’ll link him to this. If he reads it while we’re talking, I’ll probably be blushing like mad. But you know what, he is an amazing friend and I could never ask for anything different. If we had to do it all again, I would.

So cheers to you, my amazing male and fellow insomniac! XOXOXOXOXOXOXO I LOVE YOU SO.

Rose Day, Propose Day

I made this for Dan 🙂 For those of you who don’t know him, he is one of my CLOSEST friends. He has been for years. We first met on a forum ( and bonded over our mutual love for graphic design. We became even closer when we added each other on Skype – for YEARS we talked almost daily. He’s an amazing person and one of my best friends you guys (:

Please click to see it in full!

It’s just something really small and quick that I whipped up in honor of the first two days of Valentine Week – Rose Day and Propose Day. I poured my feelings and our inside jokes into this little wallpaper and the background roses that it features help me fulfill Day 1’s requirements as well (:

I’m trying to lift up my own spirits, so maybe things like this will help.

Day 27: My Inner Voice

Day 27 — I have an inner voice, and if a friend spoke to me the way my inner voice does at times, I would…

I would probably have avoided many, many sticky situations. Actually, I’ve got to be really honest here – I’ve already avoided many sticky situations because of the friends I do have.

Jessica is basically my inner voice. I am hers too, I hope. Although I’m more of a devilish influence on her.

My inner voice is a little more daring than I actually am. But sometimes it tells me when I should stop and helps me from getting hurt. It isn’t afraid of being brutal honesty.

I don’t think I am able to answer this question properly. I do have a friend who is like my inner voice. I am eternally grateful for her, and I know that I can talk to her about anything with no judgment, just advice. She’s there to simply listen, if that’s what I need, and she’s there to yell at me for being a moron when I so often am one.

So I don’t need to philosophize. I have a friend who is in accord with my inner voice, and I love it. I can always talk things through with her.

Does the honesty sometimes sting when I don’t want to hear the truth? Yes. Yes it does.

But it is so reassuring to know that she’s out there looking out for me the same way my inner voice is.


List of rules and questions is here

Please take a moment to check out the other wonderful blogs participating in 30 days of Blogging Honesty with me!

Dear Carolyn,

You complained I didn’t mention you in my blog, and I suppose recently, I haven’t explicitly dedicated anything to you, right?

Well then my darling, here you go. You get a whole entire post dedicated to you. Enjoy it. It will be cheesy and sappy and over-the-top. It might make the male gender gag a little bit. Hehe.

I don’t even know where to start when I write to you. If this was a yearbook entry, it would have teardrop stains on it already because a future without you as my roommate makes me want to cry.

I can say with pride and joy that you were the first friend I made at New York University. By that extenson, you were the first one who really saw the “new” me. Of course my high school friends knew me, but the change isn’t as drastic when you grow up with the friends, you know what I mean? But you met the new me and you accepted me and somehow, you liked me and we hit it off! And an amazing friendship was born.

You know how I mentioned kindred souls….lifetime friends. You are one of them. You are a friend for life – beyond college, beyond New York, and beyond even our career paths. Nothing can tear us apart, and I’ve grown to consider you one of the few people I know I can trust with my life. From the first moment we met each other and our eyes met in that elevator ride down to the lobby of Founders Hall (Which didn’t even have a name then) to begin our summer orientation session. Sure we’d spoken on FB a little bit before that and spoken online, but I was so scared that you wouldn’t like me when you met me. But you accepted me, flaws and all, and from that first awkward conversation to now, three years later, you’ve been one of the most amazing friends I could ask for.

I don’t even have words to explain myself. I’m at a loss…how can somebody fit into a limiting vocabulary the extensive emotions I feel? Emotions cannot ever be fully penned down, so just know that without your friendship to count on, I wouldn’t be the person I am. Without having your dorm room to crash in freshman year, I wouldn’t have even met Sara or Misha. Without having met Sara, I probably never would have met Christine? Or maybe other circumstances would have brought us together but honestly, who knows? I will just let you know though….we were destined to be roommates ❤ It may have been three and a half years in the making, but it was worth it. You and Misha made this semester unforgettable!

After this (college) though, I can’t help but tear up when I imagine how our lives are going to unfold. What will happen? Where will we all be? I don’t know, and it kills me. You’re coming to my wedding no matter what, no matter where. And I to yours. This is the kind of friendship that lasts and you’re the kind of person that…brightens and livens up everybody else’s day. I am PRIVILEGED to be your friend because you’re an amazing person. You’re a complete sweetheart, and the best kind of friend ever. You never judge, you trust and you listen and you’re right there when I need to rant. You even laugh when I try to make jokes and that makes me feel pretty cool too. You bring out the best in everybody around you and you seriously brighten our room up.

Watching you watch Tom and Jerry while eating….or coming home to a home that smells like sesame oil….these are just snapshots of the semester that I will never forget. Baking with you, devouring the Oreo truffles you made us, and even the late night roommate bonding outings and movies and talks…I’ll never forget them. Also the nail polish – you put up with my obsession, embraced it, and totally adopted it as your own. Without you and Misha to do my nails with, it just wouldn’t be the same.

You put up with my crazy and you still love me despite it.

You are spectacular. I love you. Totally homo 😉



Day 21: Read My Blog!

Day 21 — The person or persons that do not read my blog but I wish he/she/they would is/are:…

That was a little bit of a mouthful, wasn’t it?

I wish that Jessica read my blog! I’m not very….shy of my online life in general. I love talking to people about things, and my real life friends know all about what’s happening on my online world. And vice versa! I’m really genuine – the only difference is that I allow myself to be more flirty/crude online than I am in person. But anyway, I don’t hide my blog from anybody. I don’t openly promote it on FB that much – I have mentioned it here and there a few times, but not a lot.

Most of my close friends have blogs of their own (Shoutout to Nabila and Melissa, among others listed on my blogroll) or actively follow me. For example, both of my roommates are e-mail subscribers to updates on the blog. In fact, Misha is probably reading this right now, since update emails get sent to her phone which she will check when it buzzes. So hello 😀

The one friend of mine that doesn’t read my blog when I very much wish she did would be my friend Jessica. I don’t think you guys need a whole post detailing how amazing a friend she’s been over the years – you can probably search her name in my blog and find a dozen entries. But to dedicate a short and sweet paragraph to her – I met her in 8th grade! I met her through an acquaintance (I say acquaintance because we had the same-ish class schedule that year and were on good friendly terms. We became close but then drifted apart shortly thereafter) who I no longer really speak to. No ill feelings or anything, we just grew apart. I ran into her in the subway once last semester though, and we had a nice catch-up ride into the city together haha.

The first time I met Jessica, I thought she was totally loundmouthed and completely free-spirited – a very different person from myself. The project that brought us together *brace yourself* was a dance routine that we were preparing for the International Community Club’s (ICC) Dance Showcase. It was pretty epic and I remember that we really, really bonded when choreagraphing and practicing the routine. We would meet up at each other’s houses and order Pizza. We went to the mall to shop for our dance outfits and got some real studio time and choreography help from Jessica’s dance instructor.

Overall, it was a phenomenal experience! Jessica has been one of my closest friends since then, and we have rode the rollercoaster of the high school experience together. We were there for each other’s “first” everything, and we’ve been there for each other through thick and thin year after year. Once, I fought with her for a week and it was pure TORTURE. We weren’t speaking and after 3 or 4 days, it got so bad that our MOMS actually forced us to go talk to each other. I was so grumpy and mad at the world and my mom was like – go you need to fix things with Jess. This was pretty recent, so we weren’t little kids or anything. But yeah, she’s like my sister & my other half. She’s called my mom “mom” by mistake. She loves my mom’s coffee milkshakes, fondly referred to amongst my friends as Cold Coffee.

Just….there are so many memories. You see me rambling? She means a lot to me, but her ONE vice is that I cannot for the life of me get her to follow or read my blog. I wish she would – I’m going to link her to this post. You all should post comments and encourage her to join as well ❤

So yes, Jess, it would mean a lot to me if you read my blog! You’re the one and only person I know who I wish would read my blog (that doesn’t already).




List of rules and questions is here

Please take a moment to check out the other wonderful blogs participating in 30 days of Blogging Honesty with me!

Day 04: Living In Blogger Fantasies

Day 04 — A blogger friend I’ve known for over five years told me she has been blogging anonymously all this time and most of what I know about her is her fantasy. My reaction to this news is…

What a silly (or awkwardly phrased) prompt. If what you know about a blogger friend is fantasy, then he or she isn’t an “anonymous blogger,” he or she is just not a truthful one.

For me, the whole purpose of blogging is finding a public sphere where you find it easy to be yourself. When I created this blog senior year of high school (It has been almost three years now!) my sole purpose was keeping in touch with my best friend and letting her know what was going on. That’s why she created her blog. Our whole point was to be honest and truthful and have a space where we could update each other about how life was going in our respective colleges.

To me, an anonymous blogger is one who does not disclose their life or personal details. This blogger friend from the scenario went one step further, and disclosed some sort of false personal information (Name, likes and dislikes, etc). That’s the worst kind of dishonesty, because you create a relationship with a fake persona. I don’t understand.

I think the first thing I would ask them is “Why?”

Not “why” as in “why did you do that?” but why as in “why are you telling me this now?”

Why are you telling me this now?

Is it because you realize that I’m a friend you are close enough to now that you’re ready to truly reveal yourself? Has our online friendship transcended into something that is more real for you?

I would be upset and hurt. To continue our friendship, I’d expect some honesty, especially if I’ve been honest with my blogger friend. I’m used to having online friends, if you recall my past experience with forums, so this scenario has actually taken place. There was a friend of mine who, a year later, came out to me and showed me real pictures of himself and told me that he had been posting pictures of a friend of his until then on the forums. But I helped him regain his confidence and showed him that he could be honest about himself online and we would offer no judgments. Once he knew that, he began being more honest and I think it was a really liberating experience for him.

It’s truly something when you can be exactly who you are, and people still like you, talk to you, trust you, love you.

It’s lovely to create a fantasy persona, but even then, it’s all coming from somewhere. This blogger friend of mine may actually live in Suburban Long Island rather than Las Vegas, but something about her writing style and fantasies should already have told me a lot about who she is. (Yes, the blogger friend became a girl somewhere along the way)

Do you know what I mean? If she is honest and upfront with me, even if it was five years in the making, my reaction would be to help her understand that she could blog about her fantasies, be herself, and still be accepted.


Please take a moment to check out the other wonderful blogs participating in 30 days of Blogging Honesty with me!

Till Death Do Us Part – 6

"The scene slowly unfolds as the lights begin to fade into darkness.
Suddenly, there is a bright spotlight on a certain Mr. Richard Desmond, distraught and pale, shuffling his papers."

Richard Desmond’s (Evandra’s father) POV

(thinking out loud)
…Gabrielle left that bundle of papers for Evandra to open once she found out about the arranged marriage. Where has it gone, where could it be!? If I don’t give them to her myself, all hell may break loose. And now she’s run off to her little treehouse with Aiden. It’s as though she’s regressing into childhood memories to avoid what is now inevitable. Marry they must, and she has to understand this. She has to, there’s simply no other opt—what was that noise!?

But there was no response. I got up and walked over to the office entryway, where I could peek out at the entrance just fast enough to get a peek of Evandra’s outfit as it flashed by on the way to her room. I had no idea what that girl was planning. None whatsoever. I’d have to go deal with that once I found my bundle I suppose. Ahh, yes, the bundle. That’s what I was doing….

But now, back to Evandra’s POV. And on with the story, because Mr. Desmond’s ramblings may never cease

Evandra’s POV

I ran into the house, racing up to my room. I could beat that lazy Aiden any day. I ran up and grabbed the white board and marker I conveniently kept right by my desk. Quickly writing out "I WIN!" in big bold letters, I ran to the window and, panting, held up the sign with a smug expression on my face. I always won. ALWAYS.

True to my word, 5 seconds later, Aiden showed up, sporting his usual sad face and a matching sign that, of course, permanently said "I lost…again."

I blew him a kiss and pulled out a suitcase, thought better of it, and put it away, going downstairs to dad’s office to tell him about what I wished to do. Aiden was probably doing the same over at his place.

"Father," I said as I opened the door to the study, "I have an idea. Since you seem so adamant that I marry Aiden, we both feel that we need to get to know each other more first. We’ve been best friends, but I don’t think we’ve ever looked at each other through the eyes of a lover. I want to know how the two of us would interact together, and for that, I wanted to ask for your permission to do something." I knew my father wasn’t going to interrupt, so I continued right on. "Aiden and I wanted to go camping for a few days. Actually, I want to see if I can put up with him for so long without going crazy, but I’m sure if I tell you it’s a good bonding experience, you’d have to agree!"

****will continue this post when I get home from work. I’m not done with part 6 yet, but I don’t want to lose my work thus far, and I’ll probably finish the update at home, so yeah