Day 17: Dust to Dust

Day 17 — There are many mysteries in the universe. If there was one truth I could learn, it would be…

Just one truth? That kills me, I want to know so much. I would have asked if there was intelligent life outside of our race and our planet, but I feel as though the answer to that has got to be a resounding yes. It’s just a matter of one day discovering one another in the future.

OH I KNOW (Thank you Misha, for the suggestion. It triggered me…I really have asked that question many times in the past)

I would like to know what happens after we die? Afterlife? Reincarnation? Heaven? Elysium? Purgatory? Nirvana?

I would really like to know about life after death. I want to know…will my soul live after my body is dust once more? Will I forget my past life? I would assume so, since I cannot say that I’ve had any premonitions of my past life. My parents used to tell me that a baby, in its first few months of life, is still able to relive the memories of its past life. They believe that the spirits of our elders reincarnate into the new generation, but I don’t know how much I believe that…then that would mean that there are no spirits, since we’d all be infused with the spirit of an older person. Sort of creepy.

In fact, my nephew was born just a few weeks after my grandma passed, and everybody’s convinced.

But for me, I want to know. It would shape how I live out my life. If nothing happens, we crumble, and our soul forgets this life and is put into another, then what does it matter to me how sinful I am? I wouldn’t become a thief, but I wouldn’t try to be a saint either. I wouldn’t feel guilty about not praying as much as I should, or sometimes eating meat on Tuesdays when I really shouldn’t.

Personally, my hunch is that our conscience ends with our death, but our soul is ‘recycled’ into something else…maybe a baby birthed in the same instant of our death? But that soul doesn’t remember its past conscience.

So right now, I’m more of a believer in the dust to dust motto.

Memento homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris.


– Remember, man, that you are dust and unto dust you shall return.


List of rules and questions is here

Please take a moment to check out the other wonderful blogs participating in 30 days of Blogging Honesty with me!

[7] Heaven I + 1/2

[7.1] Heaven ← Previous Story | Next story → [7.2] Heaven
     The Complete Challenge list can be found here

read this before you read Heaven II! I’ll change timestamps to fix it but for now, just ignore Heaven II 😀

So what happened is that I began writing this, and it was left as a draft. I was going to let this remain a scrap but then I accidentally referenced it in Heaven II. So this is going to clarify things ❤ Enjoy. 

Roxy was giddy with excitement, though none of the excuses she gave herself seemed to actually excuse the feelings.

It was just Tyler. The same brooding man she’d known for almost five years now. But what made today different was that they were on a date again and he looked like he was actually trying.  Nothing extreme, or she might have fainted from the shock.

But they were out to a bar instead of a club, and he was trying to make conversation instead of their usual pattern of grinding, sexual tension, and then running back to his apartment to sleep together for the night. Tonight, she felt like his girlfriend.

He walked back over to their table from the bar with two drinks in his hand. Both were her favorites. This time, he was doing it for more than the usual reasons of getting her drunk and then getting some. He didn’t need to give her the drinks first anymore. That was one thing, but tonight, the drinks were in his hand because he wanted to show her that he still remembered.

She saw the Bay Breeze walking its way over first, and then looked past the hand to the handsome face with the glass. “Malibu Bay Breeze? Seriously boo, I haven’t had these in ages.” She beamed over at him and threaded her way past the close set tables. She walked up to him, gave him a kiss as she grabbed for the glass. He laughed into her kiss, and said “Settle down, its for you.

Taking the glass from him in case he changed his mind, she grabbed his hand and led him back to the table. Sat down, already giggly and happy from the shots they had taken. He didn’t take her out often anymore. This was a treat.

He was besotted once more. His eyes didn’t stray that night, and his heart stayed put.

Yeah, he still loved this girl. This girl in front of him giggling away like the night he had first met her. That night when they had been young and 21, when they were still in college and believed in love. A lot had happened since then, but looking at her flushed face, he was starting to believe in love once more. She was his slice of heaven.

[7] Heaven I

[6] Break Away ← Previous Story | Next story → [7.15] Heaven
     The Complete Challenge list can be found here

I was tryna write you a song,
But the lyrics, they
Didn’t feel original.

Tried to write a poem,
But the rhymes were off
And I couldn’t even get the line

I tried to blog,
Get my creativity out in prose,
But the words just wouldn’t come.

I don’t know why, maybe
We just didn’t fit together, you
And I. But then I pause, and reconsider,
Because maybe we did.

And if we did, then how could I have let you go,
Hold you in my arms but let my heart wander.
Knowing you are the one, but
Not listen to my subconscious.

I didn’t do right by you
And they say everything is written
So maybe we have a shot in the stars,
Under the moonlight, love might come again unbidden.

I say unbidden, because I never had to call.
Your smile was there, it was enough
Because you set my heart aflutter with
Your hopes and your dreams
And your crazy childish fantasies
That I loved.

This is why when I was with you,
We were in heaven. Just a little bit,
You had me flying high and low,
Going up and down with you, in and out with you,
Going in and out of this love that we didn’t
Even fully recognize ourselves,

But now I know,
And its because I feel like I’ve lost you.

Freestyle Writing #1 – Just for fun

The midnight moon was beautiful. It was shiny, and it even sparkled. It reminded Heather of fairy dust. Not the moon itself of course, but the beautiful hazy clouds that attempted to veil its beauty.

It is as though the moon leads us to its own magical kingdom, a kingdom where we can defy gravity over and over again without help from technology. On our own, we are able to make of this world what we will.

This world is dreamy, and heavenly. In my mind’s eye, I can see it now. The office dissolves into a serene garden, and immigration is a thing of the past. I walk over to the swing, climb on, and swing away my years.

The midnight moon was beautiful even then, as an eight year old child in school. Well, I wouldn’t be at school at midnight of course, but the moon held its allure even then. I imagined I was a werewolf, or a vampire, or even a moth – so long as I had the capabilities and beauty of a nighttime object, I was safe and secure in my own little haven.

This world is heaven. I glean from it all the happiness I need. It is devoid of relationships, for the very word entails complications. The world is more free, more open, and societal norms are all broken.

I can be a lazy bum if I want to.

Or a hot mess. That’s what society calls it these days.

When I’m on this swing, I can think again. I can feel alive, breathe freely. My thoughts can be heard, just as the sky can be seen. I see the stars, a generous sprinkling of them on the nighttime blanket. The sky doesn’t enshroud me, but it envelops my soul. I am filled with this expansive presence – the presence of the entire world is within me.

I can do whatever, be whatever, and go wherever in this world 0 time and location no longer have any restraints. I can leap across a body of water, leap across a mountain, or simply be content nestling within a valley.

My heaven is full of bright colors; full of different experiences. I want the grass to be green, and the sky to be blue. My heaven is "normal", but better. I do not need the security of wild imagination – if my grass was blue, I’d be bewildered. I do not need change to be happy. I only need freedom. That is the one and only exception – freedom and whatever changes it entails.

I want darkness – without it, my midnight moon would not be relevant, and that’s the basis of my heaven. My foundations lie not within the molten magma but the open skies. I want my core to be orbiting above me, always out of reach.

If I can not touch it, I can not taint it.