Day 14: Keeping Secrets (Alternative Question)

Day 14 — Because my parents never found out, I remember getting away with _____ as a teenager…

Oh dear, there’s no way I’m revealing that kind of scandalous information on a public forum when my parents might encounter it some day in the future when they’ve learned the definition of blogging! You all shall have to read my answer to the alternative question now! Enjoy below (:

Your daughter tells you she is bringing home her boyfriend for dinner. When they arrive, she introduces you to a man who is not your same race. Sometime during dinner she announces that they have been married for the last six months. What bothers you more? The difference in race or being excluded from the wedding…

I think back on this question and I’m surprised by how much of my mother is in me. The fact that she’s been married for the last six months would come as crippling news. I do however, have to make a complaint – the question is not phrased to be culture friendly. Let’s list out what’s wrong with this scenario!

1. Girls cannot have boyfriends, least of all announce he’s coming to dinner.
2. If a girl dates, her parents are not to find out about it
3. If a girl dates outside her own culture/religion/ethnicity, her parents are DEFINITELY not to find out about it
4. A girl lives with her parents until she gets married. So if she’s been married for 6 months, they haven’t been living together yet.

I would have to be a major failure as a parent if my daughter married somebody and I didn’t know. But the more I think about it….I do think that she should marry within her own ethnicity, so that part would bother me too. This is just, overall, a really stupid scenario though. If I pretend I am white though, I will say that I would be bothered most about not being a part of her wedding.

But I mean really, that is just NOT how relationships work! A marriage is a month-long celebration. What girl would willingly give that up and lie to her parents O.o It just makes no sense to me. There’s NO way this secret can be kept that long. Nope.

This question cracks me up. It’s structured to make everybody respond by saying how outraged they are by the hidden marriage, but I think that race does play a big part. I want somebody I can speak to in Hindi as well as English. I want somebody who will cook me an aloo ka parantha on Sunday mornings when I want to sleep in. I’m sure these things can be learned, but that level of comfort and integration wouldn’t be present in a marriage outside of our race.

Yeah, super unrealistic question. Hidden marriage bothers me more, but I am bothered by race too. If my daughter is going to take this drastic step, she should have the balls to introduce him to the family before she marries him so we can get to know the person behind the race barrier. If he loves her and she loves him, great. But Indian or not, I want him to be from a good family and I want them to have a proper wedding.



List of rules and questions is here

Please take a moment to check out the other wonderful blogs participating in 30 days of Blogging Honesty with me!


Mujhe kuch nahi patha…

Ab main kya kar rahi hun? Kyu aise soch rahi hun? Mujhe nahi patha main usko apne dimaak se bahar kyu nahi nikal sakthi. Mujhe nahi patha.

Mujhe nahi patha vo mere dil main kyu aagaya. Kab aagaya? Aur vo bahar kyu nahi jathai? Kyun?

Mujhe nahi patha main uski kabhi ho sakthi hun. Vo mere bare aisa sochtha bhi hai ke nahin? Kabhi soch payega? Mujhe itna bhi nahi patha.

Main uske liye wait karu? Ya usko apne dimaak se bahar nikalun? Vo nikaltha hi nahin, main jabhi koshish karthi hun. Vo kyun nahi jatha? Kyun?

Hum dost tho hain, par is dosti me main kyun uski baath har bar sunthi hun? Vo mere liye aise kabhi bhi kartha? Mujhe tho nahi lagtha ke vo mere liye apni jaan dega. Vo to aise kabhi kahega be nahin. Vo is sub me believe he nahi kartha. Tho phir main usko kyun nahin bhula pathi? Kyun?

Kyun main uskeliye sab kuch karthi hun? Aur uske badle main uski kwahisho ko aur uski marziyon ko har bahar kyun sahu? Main jabhi sochthi hun ke iss baar, main nahi suno gi, main aise kar hi nahi pathi. Mujhe nahi acha lagtha jab koi aur mere se aise baath kartha hai jaise mere apne koi sapne hi nahin hain. Jaise mere paas apne plans hi nahin ho kabhi. Vo tho aise kartha hain jaise main uske saath jab chahe masti karun. Khana kahun. Movies dekhun. Aur jab main koi bhi plans banathi hun, ek minute lagatha hai mujhko na kahane main. Usko thab tho kuch galath nahi latha pur jabhi..JABHI….main usko bholun ke ma aise nahi kar sakthi jo vo chatha he, tho vo gusse hojatha hain. 

Mujhe nahin patha main iske bajae bhi uske saath time spend karthi hun. Nahin karna chaiye ab, main sochthi hun. 

Dekthe hain, kal kya kahatha hain mere liye. Hamare liye. Hamari zindagi ke liye.

Mujhe tho kuch nahi patha.